


The difference being

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Bit corny at the end, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Mini Character Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 02:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6546970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mini-character study on the way different people look at Aaron, and how he feels when they do. </p>
<p>"Aaron hated being one of ‘those’ people. The type who others would look at, hear the gossip, and then nod and say ‘oh, yeah. It makes sense now.’"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The difference being

**Author's Note:**

> You lot are seriously the best! All of those kudos for 'Defend me from this shame' and 'I'll hold the world to its best' is just insane! You've put the biggest smile on my face, so thank you!! 
> 
> This is just another mini piece. I'll get on to writing more substantial things in a little while. I hope you guys enjoy this :)

Aaron hated being one of ‘those’ people. The type who others would look at, hear the gossip, and then nod and say ‘oh, yeah. It makes sense now.’ Brenda looks at him that way and Aaron scowls. Ashley looks at him like it, mixed in with pity, and Aaron rolls his eyes. He's half come to expect a sermon from Ashley on coping and forgiveness, but since Ashley has been going through his own brand of awful, Aaron goes a little easier on him. Pearl looks at him in the same way that Lisa does: a look that says ‘that poor lad’. And it means well, but it makes it sound like his puppy died, not that his own dad....

Paddy doesn’t know how to look at him half the time, so Aaron has to force a smile. Used to be that Aaron never had to force ANYTHING, not when it came to Paddy, but they've been drifting apart, ever since the lodge and the threats to Leo and Rhona. They’ve been drifting apart ever since affairs ruined both their lives.

His mum gives him this look sometimes as if he’s still that little eight year old she left behind, as if she wants to fix him, but she doesn’t know how so she wants him to give her the answer. If he knew, he’d tell her. Come to that, if he knew he wouldn’t need to tell her, because he’d just fix himself.

Cain is another one who doesn’t know half the time how to look at him. Sometimes it’s fine, and it’s like nothing has changed: Aaron is still Aaron, the nephew that gets on Cain’s nerves, but who he loves despite everything. Sometimes again he’s the little boy that he couldn’t save, the little broken boy who was crying out for help, but no one was around to hear.

Adam is one of the few who look at him the same. He's always been the same in Adam’s eyes, whether he'd come out and hated himself, was lying in a hospital bed cursing Adam for finding him in that car, bent over a gate after pouring poison down his boyfriend’s throat, or knowing the worst secret Aaron has under his belt. Adam has never looked at him differently, and that’s why Aaron loves him.

Robert though... Robert's been looking at Aaron differently ever since Aaron got out of prison back in November. A little bit of hope, a little bit of hurt, a lot of something that Aaron recognised in himself when clinging to the sliding hope that maybe, just maybe, Robert could actually fall in love with him. Now it’s always there, that unrequited love. If he looks deep, Aaron can see the sorrow and the sympathy, but never pity. Robert looks at Aaron the way people look at the stars in the sky: something unattainable and beautiful and near, but also achingly far. Robert looks at him, and Aaron has to look away, because as much as Aaron himself doesn’t love by halves, Robert gives nothing but all of himself to something this strong. Aaron knows that Robert is waiting for the day when Aaron will look at him and see the future; see happiness (or at least contentment), and a bright ray of hope. It’ll happen one of these days. It’s just enough nowadays that Aaron can look at Robert and see an endless abundance of patience.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr!: [Port in a Storm ](http://portinastorm.tumblr.com)


End file.
